He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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