Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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