Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
