i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
