epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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