Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ttyl tear gas
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
