Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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