it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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