i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
