im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
