i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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