The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
