I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
