so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
