Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
