it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
