That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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