GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
