Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
