They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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