do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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