we're blogging at a bar
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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