Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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