Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
