Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize