I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
