Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
