How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
