tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
