i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize