He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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