No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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