the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize