You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
