Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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