Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
