I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
