Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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