explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I could fuck to npr.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
