I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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