is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
