A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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