Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
