So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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