just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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