If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
