There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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