the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We talked him into tasing himself.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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