the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
