I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
