Ambien. No doubt about it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my shit smells like andre
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
