So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize