I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
