when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
