Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
