the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
