I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
