Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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