dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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