Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My penis needs a shock collar
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
