I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Drunk is a universal language darling
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