Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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