Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
