I feel great
I just peed on a car
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize