Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
