There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
